- -What the hell do you mean, my birth certificate expired?
-I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
-Q: What is George W. Bush's position on Roe v Wade? A: He doesn't care how black people leave New Orleans.
-I like my women like I like my coffee - ethically purchased from farming cooperatives in latin america.
-A chubby man with a white beard and a red suit will approach you soon. Avoid him. He's a Commie.
-For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
-"My dad wants to show he's not mad by taking you out hunting with him"
